Revenge plays a major role in human psychology. “Getting payback” is, for many people, the only way to soothe what feels like an unpardonable wrong. The only question is, how to do it?
The German poet Heinrich Heine, a Jew who had to fight constantly for recognition in 19th-century Germany, wrote, "I want a house with a view of the sea—and a few trees. And from the back, I want to be able to see my enemies hanging from a tree." He’s not alone. The “Scopes Monkey Trial” lawyer Clarence Darrow wrote, "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."
The desire for revenge can become culturally enshrined. There’s a famous Chinese proverb "If you sit by the river long enough, the bodies of your enemies will float by." Though most likely true, it always struck me as sad, waiting around doing nothing to get satisfaction and meanwhile, your life is over. This is related to the Hindu notion of Karma, which is a non-active form of Universal payback.
And consider the beautiful Psalm 137.
By the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept, when we remembered Zion.
We hanged our harps upon the willows in the midst thereof.
For there they that carried us away captive required of us a song; and they that wasted us required of us mirth, saying, Sing us one of the songs of Zion.
How shall we sing the Lord’s song in a strange land?
If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.
If I do not remember thee, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth; if I prefer not Jerusalem above my chief joy.
Remember, O Lord, the children of Edom in the day of Jerusalem; who said, Rase it, rase it, even to the foundation thereof.
O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.
Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
I’m not sure whether, even if I was mistreated, I could take pleasure in smashing babies against rocks. Saint Paul, referencing the Book of Deuteronomy, writes in Romans 12:19 "Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord."
I mention all this because the other day, for no apparent reason, a guy decided to violently walk into me on the street, smashing his shoulder into mine with such force I almost fell over. He then said that I should look where I was walking and be aware of other people. I wondered if it was going to be the final showdown, turning into a street fight. But as I recovered, he continued walking, glaring back at me and I was left with the psychological aftereffects. I felt unjustifiably wronged, how to set things straight?
At first my thoughts took a predictable turn, those of violent fantasies. If only I had a gun! But would I have pulled it out? Or if there was a button which, if pushed would erase him from existence, would I have pushed it? I’d say there was a 50 percent chance. After I calmed down, my thinking took a philosophical turn; I realized that his action wasn’t personal. He didn’t know me. My reading was: Here’s a guy who, for reasons easy enough to guess in a large modern city, feels socially alienated and on this day, his feelings reached a point where they erupted into violence. And as luck would have it, I was there and became the representative member of the society that he feels distanced from. He needed to blame his feelings of dissatisfaction on someone for his imagined wrongs. This is easy to understand, almost everyone feels that life has given them a raw deal in one way or another. The social position they were born into, their looks, what school they went to, their level of success, the list of causes is endless. How do we get payback for our lives? Is it even possible?
Anyway, my intellectual musing ended in giving me revenge. I knew that, despite whatever momentary pleasure he took from walking into me, his problems didn’t go away and most likely never will. But knowing that didn’t bring me any pleasure.